Rainy season...

It's the rainy season again...

Today's downpour was really heavy that all i cld see frm my window was a mist of white...not the usual lovely sight of raindrops pattling against ur window...i love such weathers if i'm home...and tend to get sentimental on these days....pop in some jazz or one of ur soundtracks...and the gentle beat from the earphones really get ur emotions working and the music sounds heavenly to ur ears...or re-watch one of ur favourite dramas....u can cry more buckets than usual....maybe cos of the peaceful weather and the coldness that always bring about a tinge of sadness...juz like those snow scenes they love to put in dramas...u have more thoughts on these days more than usual...

listening to my soundtrack...feel like typing wat i used to think about that always reminds me once in a while...is it because i never got the answers i wanted....or it just 'hurts' so much that u are always reminded...i don't noe....

let me tell u wat i wanna say in stories.....

story 1
once there was a girl whose profession was an actress in erotic movies...u guessed it...how pple like her get despised and insulted....her wish was to become a 'real' actress...her childhood dream...looking through her photoalbums...were pics of her dressed like a princess yearning and smiling and performing....one day she got a chance to act in a movie by a famous director and got famous....but she wasn't happy...no one can feel her lonliness(having to abandoned her lowly life)...and she found out she wasn't really a great actress cos she keeps forgetting her scripts and was not convinced by her actin abilities....

i begin to question...sometimes when we work really hard and aspire to do something...to find out that we really aren't good enough...just like how it hits the actress...when u wanna aspire to be a good actress but turns out u do best the quality of an erotic, 3rd grade actress? isn't it cruel do be hit hard by such facts?...but one thing's for sure...the actress was more hardworking, more respectable, than those who despised her...she slogged for her family while bravely seeking her dreams even when she felt ashamed and hurt countless times...wat right have we to despise her?... {the end}

story 2

look up into the sky one night and u see many stars....another person also looked at the stars from another direction and so is anoher frm yet another direction...no matter where they are...they can still see the stars twinkling brightly in the huge black canvas above...

have u ever wondered y u actually existed?...i bet u did....just like the pple who can see the stars at diff. position...we are linked in ways just like the stars...u never realise tat ur existence actually influences another and play's a role in someone's else story...just like gravity and how the earth moves...we have a 'pivot' in each of us like gravity and we 'move' together as the earth moves...so never underestimate ur existence...we are precious to everyone else...dn't forget.... {the end}

story 3

a girl grew up with the love of her foster father and her foster father managed to live because of this adopted daughter...because both lost their families in war...like lost souls...they bring hope to each other...one day the foster father found his real daughter whom he thought had died in the war and decided to bring his real daughter back and did a will that gives part of his fortune, to compensate his real daughter who he wanted to but not given the chance to love...but the father met with an accident one day at home, falling down his two-story apartment with the foster daughter present at the time...the foster daughter was charged with murder over the jealousy of the will....who will believe she never killed her faster and truy loved him even though they were not related by blood?....

humans are beings with emotions....we longed to be loved...yes although it has been said uncountable times and sounds cheesy...it is a universal fact....but we are also highly suspicious, cunning,deceptive creatures which is why we always doubt things....we always believe in facts we see...we choose to believe in facts because it is evidenced and proven before our eyes..what we ignored is the truth...a person's heart never lies...the most pure, difficult, and miraculous emotion that cannot be explained is to love someone whether it is parental love or any other kinds of love....we are blessed with the ability to feel, with the intelligence...surely we can not be fooled and accept an explanation just because the facts are not questionable?...truth....the truth is e most important....surely our heart will not lie...even when we are filled with doubts...we should learn to feel with our heart and let it follow the truth...there is no explanation but i believe a person's heart never lies....{the end}

story 4

Is lonliness a human condition? If so. how can it ever be filled up?...i never really found out the answer myself but i tink it is not a human condition...because lonliness can be filled up....

sometimes u get happy when someone's just beside u and u get soothed by the presence and comfort....

loving someone is the biggest generosity....it doesn't come with compensation or reward....just like parents to their child or the very subtle love between friends....we forget what is the very root of happiness...the truthfulness,realism and precious things we always yearn for...isn't it love?...

and so it took me very long to realise the biggest and greatest forgiveness is to forgive someone who has given u so much love...so even if u hate ur parents or blame someone who had done some misgivings which u truly cannot forgive...don't forget love is the greatest generosity and y not repay with the greatest forgiveness...i believe pple sometimes do not get born in the right families or right time or place(cos i always doubt fate and stuffs...) but y not make urself happier if u truly understood the concept: love =greatest generosity and forgive=greatest forgiveness & compensation to love...when we take something...maybe we shld give something in return...{the end}

i better end here...it's getting too longwinded and lengthy...

hope everyone....happiness is what u get in the new year

embrace wat is coming for us in 2006!


signing off with love :) .....

some ramblings....

Guess i gotta start reviving my blog...

had some days off sch but went out so much it's like saving up all my weekends to go all out in 2 wks....wonder how many km's i walked...my feet aches....not so much of really shopping...but i do miss the times that u just sit with ur frds at some cafe or smthing and slack the hrs off...just chatting and rambling....then u find out some little secrets...haha sweet....love those talks...anyway catch quite a few movies too...but there i go again...gotta praise the movie- Perhaps love(dn't shoot me all of u who had heard me praised so many times :P)....

a part chinese musical....wow...on screen for e first time...had high expectations before i watched it...but glad...i loved it!....i thought the movie had a smooth transition....and the plot's like a movie within a movie...and emotions sang through the musicals that were quite well cheorographed....it has a simple love story setting..the usual love,hate,jealousy,revenge...so many pitfalls that the movie cld fail...but luckily it avoided all those...though a simple story...the presentation was great....a few clever twists along the way...and not exaggerating ur typical tragic love story...and make u cry buckets mourning over their tragedy...it has this very simple, down-to-earth feel to it...that u can attach easily with the characters' doings...sometimes u need something simple to bring out certain things to u tat u overlooked....and it's the most challenging to present it...so all in all...a well made film....nice soundtrack...will nt forget it soon....and coincidentally...the cinema i went was really small and cosy and there was a scene in the film that showed a similar scene...haha was like seeing myself watching a movie within a movie...sadly the screening time in our theatres was so short i guessed not much pple actually caught this show...

with the new year coming....everyone will be busy as bees...hope i do not go missing ard here again...am feeling so guilty with all my notes and hmwork staring at me waiting to be done....and hope i do not get hooked to comics that will take a portion of my time off to fantasy land( so ms wong and ps...ppls do not tempt me :p)....

ending off....

Perhaps love was like unforgotten memories hidden somewhere...like recordings of ur truthful,foolish, naive acts....like indelible pages written within ur heart....for which it flutters....for which it aches.....

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