Cold breeze crept up to the unknowing, still body.

Chilled.

Rain began to fall, lasting merely minutes.

Teased.

Anger welled. Drizzling rain soothed.

Pent up anger.

Gentle drizzle seeped into the anguished nether.

Chilled.

e fool's den

Bleak
is life these days...staring at the white walls with an empty mind, i feel like it's sucking me...e brightness and lightness of a trance-like state...my neurons are gonna degrade if such emptiness permeates any longer...how do i put it...it's like extreme hunger...e first few mouthfuls of any decent food is a delight...but you chomp it down so fast together with all that air, the stomach feels bloated after and the next few hours at the sight of any food will just be bland to e tongue...it's not the best analogy but all i could think of right now...

i think i'm partially suffering from the withdrawal symptoms of travel and a typical graduate's blues...and it does not help that my trip to Cambodia is delayed till the end of the year cos no one is available to travel with me this month...(if i just keep it a secret from my mum,i will be able to escape there alone but e thing is i need someone to share e cost...i'm on budget and my measly savings have to last me till i get a job)...my travelling plans for the next 2 months has gone down the drain, so you would have guessed how devastated i am in the midst of all that anticipation and thrill and even that could be an understatement since another backpacking trip is not foreseeable in the near future or probably no longer a possibility when i start my job...and my funds are drying up, urging me to hunt a job fast...e urgency is screaming at me but i'm stone cold...so it's annoying me to no end...

my sense of rationalization is convoluted...the past two weeks has been a state of confusion and e recent cycle of insomnia is not helping...my eyes are wide-open staring at nothing and the body could do nothing to coax the brain into slumber...in the day i feel empty...not in the lonely sense of the word...but rather, 'missing' something...like an empty stomach...

sometimes i wish my house have a patio or balcony with a decent outdoor view...inhaling the wonders of mother nature coupled with reading well-written prose and sipping fine tea on a lazy afternoon would have been e perfect solace and escapism...